Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Monique's un-named fanficton draft


WHAT'S UP GROUP THREE! this is my fan fic draft, I based it around the movie Happy Feet, I haven't quite finished the conclusion but all will be revealed in my final, enjoy :)

 Over all Plot/Plan: it’s the first day out hunting after they have graduated, there’s no fish, Mumble finds a fish, offers it to Gloria, another tribe comes through and takes it, Mumble fights them for it, he wins and gives it to Gloria.. The End

Mumble watched as his graduating class disappeared over the white horizon, he could still hear their cheers and laughter being carried back on the breeze, even after their figures had vanished. He looked on as their excited footprints stretched out over the snow descending into the distance.
All but his.

“This is ridiculous!” his mother said, anger hot in her voice
“There’s no reason why our son can’t graduate with all the others, so what if he’s a little different?” She placed her warm hands on her sons face, and stroked his cheek. “I don’t care what those old men say, you’re going on that fishing trip” determination burning in her eyes.

Putting his hands in his pockets Mumble stood up straight, smiling down at his mother.
“What are you waiting for kid? You’re going to be late for your graduation party” his father said, giving him a small nudge to the shoulder.


Mumble jogged through the snow, the distance between the village and shore was quiet lengthy, but it didn’t bother him, if there was one thing he could do, it was move his feet.

Whispers weaved through his class on his arrival and the stares which he had been receiving his entire life began to appear on their faces.

“Hi everyone” he was nervous, but he still managed to smile.

He heard the soft shuffle of feet behind him and turned.
“Hi Mumble” came a small sweet voice, a voice which could only belong to that of-
“Gloria” he had meant it to be louder, but all he had been able to mange was a subtle whisper. She gave a smile which reached into her extravagant brown eyes and took him by the arm “I have found the perfect spot for our very first fish gathering”

Hundreds of students littered the edge of the cliff that looked into the shore, fishing lines sinking into the water below.

“This is incredible isn’t it Mumble?” Gloria said softly as her eyes moved across the shore line in the distance, the sun lighting her bronze complexion perfectly as her long dark hair moved with the gentle rhythm of the wind. “For over a thousand years our parents, our ancestors have come to this very cliff to gather food for their villages, for their families. And today marks the day when we can finally provide for those that have taken care of us, years before we were even born” she spoke with a passion that surprised Mumble, and he could do nothing but to stare.

She than looked down into gloved hands as though her thoughts had caught her off guard, and an overwhelming sadness consumed a face of beauty.

“Is something wrong?” asked a concerned Mumble as he leaned towards her, trying to comfort her. Gloria’s head rose and her sorrow filled eyes became gentle as she gazed at the fine features of Mumbles face, his jaw was strong and his skin smooth.
“We’re running out of food Mumble” she said as her eyes filled with tears “Most families in our village haven’t eaten in days, it’s as though the ocean has run out of fish. We’re starving Mumble, our village is starving” she wiped her eyes and gave a sort of nervous laugh.

Mumble glanced up over the waves that came in from the sea, he really had no idea what to say to a statement so truthful “This is your graduation ceremony Gloria. You can’t be thinking of things that are so heavy, you’re meant to be happy” she gave more nervous laughter as she smiled up at Mumble.

“I guess it’s a good thing I know how to make you happy than” mumble said pulling Gloria to her feet.

“Mumble what are you doing?” She said a curios expression on her face. As Mumble began tap dancing around her, the beat of his feet echoing across the ice, a wide smile stretching across his face. “Come on Gloria, dance with me” he joked as Gloria began laughing with him. Mumble finally stopping just a few inches in front of her.

“You really are different aren’t you Mumble?” Gloria said unknowingly at him, and they stood staring at each other.

“Gloria. I think you- You’re so-“ he began his sentence without really any means of what he was actually going to say, and became lost in his thoughts as to how to end his beginning. “You’re so..”

“FISH!” Gloria Cried
“You’re so fish” Finished a lost Mumble.
“No Mumble! Fish!” she shouted as she ran towards their fishing polls, his polls line being pulled out fast by what ever was at the other end.

Mumble took hold of the poll heaving it backwards and winding the line back in with all his strength, what ever was on the other end of this line was big. He pulled vigorously as a small crowd of students began gathering around him and sweat began forming on his brow. He was almost there, he could feel it.

With one last tug, the fish came gasping out of the water and there was a gasp amongst all the students, and Mumble stood in awe of the sheer size.

“That has to be the biggest fish I have ever seen in my life Mumble” Gloria said almost jumping up and down “Look at it!” she cried, joy firmly replanted on her face.

Mumble looked thoughtfully at the fish he had caught lowered it from it’s line and taking it in his hands he held it out to Gloria “I want you to have it” he said a small smile rising in the corners of his mouth.

Gloria was shocked, than shaking her head said “No Mumble, you caught it, you deserve to have it”

“Yes I did, and now I want you to have it”

“No Mumble it’s yo-“ she paused and her eyes narrowed as she saw three strange men coming up behind Mumble, they were from a different village. “Mumble look out!’ she cried as one of the men grabbed Mumble and threw him to the ground.

“What’s this we hear about fish” the tallest one said, scars carved into his face.
“Look here boss, looks like these here kids have caught themselves a big one” the shorter one said picking up the fish Mumble had dropped “It’ll make for a fine meal tonight won’t it sir?” he said a disgusting laugh rising from his throat, and they began to walk away.

“Give the lady her fish back” said a muffled voice coming from the ground, as a bruised Mumble rose from the ground.

3 comments:

  1. Its getting really interesting! I like how Mumbles beginning to come out of his comfort zone with Gloria so cute. Keep writing its great!

    btw think you meant quite instead of quiet in your 4th paragraph

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  2. Thanks Anna :)

    Yeah sorry i'm no the best speller, thanks for the feedback though appreciate it.

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  3. Interesting the whole way through I liked it a lot, your spacing is great too, it doesn't drag on and with it being well spaced it means you can keep following this fanfic without pause. I also like your descriptive wording as well, gives color and effect to the story.

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