I struggle to write stories that flow well so bare with me and please help me to make sentences to flow better.
This is based on the movie "The Vow"
Comment :)
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Leo looked at me as we wait for the lights to turn green.
“Thank you for the movie tonight Leo”.
“I love you Paige”.
“I love you too Leo”.
Leo wraps his arms around me, to warm me up from the cold
winter snow. Pulls me in closer and says “Paige, your freezing!”
I couldn’t feel my nose. “Here Paige wear th…..”.
I couldn’t feel my nose. “Here Paige wear th…..”.
“CRAAASHHHH”. The windscreen cracking into a million pieces
as I head straight through it, my eyes close, from the impact of the collision,
I fall unconscious, and just in that split second just before I flew up, a bunch
of memories flashed before my eyes. The flashback of our wedding vows and meeting
the love of my life…
My life had changed just in that split second.
-
Hi, my name is Paige. I live in an apartment in Chicago with
my husband Leo, and the stray tammy cat that comes over every morning , Leo
says he’s allergic but I don’t believe him. To be honest I think he’s just
afraid of cats. I love art; sculpturing in particular I go to an art institute.
Leo, he runs his own business, and produces music. Leo and I, we’ve been
married for 4 years now, no baby yet but we’re trying! You might be wondering
where we met, funny story actually.
“Ohhh… ”
“You forgot your permit.” The gentlemen who was behind me in
the queue earlier said to me.
“Well I sort of come here to enjoy a two hour line, so the
permits kind of a bonus… I’m Paige.”
“Haha, sorry I’m Leo.”
“Well thank you for um…”
“You know, I noticed … we have the same RPP zones.”
“What’s an RPP zone?”
“Residential parking permit zone. I think we owe it to ourselves
really to maybe get a drink, out of our zone compatibility and all.”
“Okay.”
And ever since that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
He was the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, quite funny too. And I don't mean funny
as in just a few giggles he actually makes me laugh. Before I knew it, I had
completely and utterly fallen in love with him. He has never failed to put a
smile on my face.
Friday 23rd of September 2011. The day I’ve been
anxious and looked forward to the most, and probably the best day of my life.
Our wedding day.
Leo and I decided we didn’t want to spend a fortune on the
wedding, just as long as we had our closest friends there to celebrate with us,
since Leo’s parents had passed away in a car crash when he was young, his
friends are his family. And me, well I hadn’t seen my parents ever since I graduated
college… so we won’t go there. Anyway we just wanted to share our special day
with our ‘family’.
Fall was our favourite season and the 23rd, that
was just our building number. I woke up at 7:00 am today, on a usual day it was
9:00 but today I just couldn’t stay in
bed. It was a beautiful day today, more beautiful than usual, Leo didn’t sleep
with me last night, which was one of the only wedding traditions we followed. I spent my last night of single life with my
girls, yet I still managed to get up so early today.
I stare up at the ceiling, thinking of the many memories I’ve
made with Leo and the many more that was to come officially, as his wife. Usually
whenever I hear the word husband or wife I get this strange tingly feeling, but
today I felt nothing, it just seemed like any other word to me. It made me
realise I was ready, ready to be Leos’ forever.
“Hi”, I greeted Leo in my nervous voice, as we stood side by
side at the café we first went to together.
“Hey, you look beautiful”
It seemed so unreal, like the world had stopped, just for
us.
After we said our vows to each other we kissed, but it wasn’t
just a kiss it was the kiss that made us promise to never stop loving each
other for as long as we lived, a promise to help each other through every
obstacle that we may come across, the kiss that sealed all the corners together
to never be separated again.
-
“Paige! Paige!”
A familiar voice calls. “Please wake up Paige…”
A familiar voice calls. “Please wake up Paige…”
“Leo? Is that you?” I ask unknowingly.
“Paige, baby, thank goodness, you’ve been unconscious for
almost 6 hours! You don’t know how worried I was. I’m sorry for putting you
through this”.
“I had a really weird dream Leo”.
-
“Leo, I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with
tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are
needed and to share the silence when they’re not, and to live within the warmth
of your heart and always call it home.”
“Paige, I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now
and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. I
vow to love you that no matter what challenges may carry us apart; we will
always find a way back to each other.”
Fin.
Hay Anna :)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your fan fiction I especially liked the part that reads '...but it wasn’t just a kiss it was the kiss that made us promise to never stop loving each other for as long as we lived, a promise to help each other through every obstacle that we may come across, the kiss that sealed all the corners together to never be separated again.' it is very poetic and has really good flow. Though I would have liked to read into Paige's feelings a bit deeper (but hey that could just me)since it is written from her perspective.I think her love for Leo is portrayed very well, and I really like the interesting way you structured it, jumping from past to present.
Any who that's just my opinion :) I hope it's helpful, nice work.
Hi Anna~ i also liked your stories!
ReplyDeletei like romantic story and your fanfic is really matched what i wanted to read. Especially, as the moment as i read this part, "Paige, baby, thank goodness, you’ve been unconscious for almost 6 hours! You don’t know how worried I was.", i was delighted at their success.
Your stories were fresh and neat from every structures.
I'm planning to watch this movie soon! lol
Hey Anna,
ReplyDeletethis is really good! It's so sweet and romantic. I love it!
I was surprised when the "crash!!!!" happened lol
and was worried that something bad might happen between Paige and Leo! I liked the ending so much as well. It was very neat and interesting!
The conversational structure in this fanfic is epic, using this emphasizes and shows how important the speech between the two characters are. Stating the date with your spacing is an interesting mix too, I like how it shows time passing. Very good use of techniques.
ReplyDelete